The Seattle Slew

Seattle Sports. Through thick and thin

CenturyLink field is too loud…and 10 other ideas to improve the game

Cardinals Seahawks Football

I actually agree with the San Francisco guest writers who suggested that Centurylink field, where the Seahawks play, is too loud, and therefore should be penalized in some fashion. A lot of people disagreed, but I think its a great idea…because any type of advantage in a football game should be nullified.

In fact, I agree so much that I’ve come up with some other suggestions to help improve the game to make it a more level playing field, and more importantly, the fan experience. Roger Goodell, I really hope you’re listening.

1. Stop selling beer at the games. This only gets the crowd more excited, and in turn, possibly hostile. Fans are clearly having way too much fun at the games.

2. Stop selling Red Bull at games. I mean, its basically like Aderrall….the most evil drug on the planet.

3. Players cannot have any food or drinks 24 hours prior to the game. Coffee/caffeine have been show to increase energy levels and focus. Gatorade shows it can increase the amount of electrolytes in the body, allowing the body to restore energy levels quicker. Carbohydrates and proteins can increase muscle mass. It’s best to just leave all forms of food sources out of the equation.

4. Stadiums that are enclosed in any way need to be destroyed/renovated. They simply amplify sound way too much. Domes are the worst, but Centurylink is unnaturally loud due to its shape. The players need to hear…do you want a lawsuit for deafening players on your hands?

5. In fact, any stadium/arena that has a curved shape should be banned. I know this accounts for the entire rest of the league…but seriously, all of these structures just amplify sound. The Greeks knew this since ancient times, howcome the NFL can’t figure it out?!?

All stadiums should be built in one of two ways: A: With a completely level surface so that sound does not get encapsulated in any way. Fans must peer over each other, just like Golf, in order to see the game. I’m sorry if you arrive late, but those are the rules. Or B: The crowd must be completely separated from the field by an all glass structure which emits no noise on the field. The game will be played in an isolated glass dome separated from the crowd.

6. All stadiums will be built at sea level. We’re looking at you Denver.

7. All games will be played at exactly 12pm noon PST, 3pm EST every Sunday. Anything else could be seen as a disadvantage for the other team.

8. When kicking a field goal, fans must stay completely still, with no movement whatsoever. Not only is fan movement distracting to the kicker, but it can also distort their sense of depth and perception. Fans caught moving will be subject to 30 days in jail for disturbing the peace.

9. Crowds cannot “boo” bad calls or bad plays. That may impact the outcome of the call. We cannot have that. Crowds also cannot boo bad plays.

10. Needless to say, crowds also cannot “cheer” for their team. That creates an unhealthy environment where we are praising one team, while not giving enough attention to the other team. Studies have shown that neglect, no matter the age, results in long term psychological damage.

These are just suggestions….ways to eliminate the unfair advantage that teams currently have today, that makes it equal for all teams involved. We can’t live in a world where there is any type of advantage to any team, regardless of the circumstances.

NFL-it’s your move.

Categories: NFL and Seahawks

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