The Seattle Slew

Seattle Sports. Through thick and thin

Why I hate the Oregon Ducks


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It’s really hard to think of any other team or fan base that I hate more than the Oregon Ducks.

I’ve known two Duck fans in my whole life. Living in the Northwest, that’s actually pretty good. And by pretty good, I mean fan-friggin-tastic that I haven’t met more. 

One was a guy that I met during a friend’s bachelor party. This dude was actually a pretty nice guy. Lives in San Francisco, loves football, worked for some biotech company doing something fairly brainy.  Definitely flipped my mind on how I viewed Duck fans. However he was also a San Francisco 49er fan, so at this point, he had two forces of gravity pulling against a possible “friendship”….even as Facebook friends. We talked football a lot, and it was through gritted teeth that we had to constrain ourselves about how much we hated each others teams. I can’t imagine a Duck/49er fan hating anything more than a Seahawk/Husky fan.

Well we kept it fairly cordial, said our goodbye’s and that was pretty much that. It was one of those awkward situations where you felt like you could’ve actually made a new friend, had his allegiance only been different. I guess I now know how Magneto and Professor X felt.


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And the other guy was someone I actually worked with. He never said much about Oregon around the office, but everything about him was dripping with a revolting Duck aroma. I don’t normally judge books by their cover, and try to make it a habit not to, but I knew this guy was a Duck from the beginning somehow. He had this smirky, arrogant grin, and an aura about him to oozed with douchebaggery. But he kept it fairly well hidden. It really only came out when he’d start talking about stuff outside of work.

Anyhow, as fate would have it, I actually interviewed with him for a job I was going for within the company. I felt I interviewed well…but in the end, I ended up not getting the job, because he told me that I wasn’t quite polished enough.  I interviewed with 4 other people for the position, all colleagues of his, and I know for a fact that I nailed it out of the park with those guys, so this decision was all him. He told me that “He really likes me personally, and wants to see me be successful, we are just going with someone that’s more qualified at this point.” He added “I really don’t have an obligation to tell you this, but I just happen to like you as a person.” Thanks…I appreciate the fact that you cleaned the knife before you sticked me with it.

He ended going with some kid that looked like he came straight out of an American pie movie, and it ended up not working so well for that team….so it was a blessing in disguise, and I ain’t mad about that anymore.

However, about a few years later, we ended up working on the same campus after a change of jobs for both of us. I’ll never forget-I ran into him one day…no one around us, as we were walking in opposite directions. I made eye contact, gave him a friendly “What’s up” nod, and said out loud “Hey What’s up <insert douchebag name here>” and smiled. He literally ignored me and just kept walking past me.

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Now-there are several likely explanations for this:

1. He could have forgotten who I was. Which is next to impossible unless he suffers from some Matt Damon, Bourne identity shit. This wasn’t 5 years later, this was 2 years later, at the max. He knows who I am.

2. Perhaps he believes I committed something of an act of terror. Because that’s how bad it would have to be for me to simply ignore someone giving me a friendly hi as I walked past them. Someone I know personally. If I had found out an ex-co worker had plotted to blow up the Space Needle, that’s probably the only situation in which I would completely ignore them. That or he thinks I slept with his girlfriend.

3. Or lastly, and probably most likely. He is a simply a douchebag of the rarest form. What kind of people in society do we have where we don’t even have the decency to say hello or nod to someone we know? It’s fine if you are busy, and don’t want to chit chat about non-sensical stuff…but acknowledging another human’s existence is not going to ruin your day.

And that is my perception of Oregon Duck fans, and that is why we must win this game today. Based on my extensive, quantitative research, about half of duck fans are somewhat cool, somewhat intelligent passionate football fans, and the other half is simply a primordial cesspool of leftover crap that has devolved from the dumbing down of generation after generation since the renaissance era.

And if the 2nd person in this article ever does read this story, know this….if you came up to me tomorrow and gave me even a slighted apology, I would be willing to forego everything I thought about you, and could learn to once again be cool with you.

But deep down under that fake grin, I know you are wearing wing tipped mirrored green and yellow feathers….and that is something I can never forgive. Go Huskies. 

Categories: Huskies

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